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Archive for December, 2008

Dad’s contributions

Not much of a working mom this week.  An upper respiratory infection has me dragging around the house.  Yesterday I stayed home with my baby boy who was not nearly as sick as me.  Today, I sent him to daycare and stayed home by myself and slept much of the day.

Unfortunately, there were things that had to be done today despite the way I felt.  I called work and made some arrangements.  Later I wrote an online grant application for my service club for Martin Luther King Jr Day events.

My husband brought my baby boy home for a visit at lunchtime, and that was the best hour of my day.  I was definitely not up to spending the whole day with him, but I really enjoyed having him in my lap, jabbering all about something.

Dad also brought home pizza for supper, so I must recognize all the dads out there supporting working moms.  At risk of embarassing him, my husband does all kinds of unexciting, but valuable things to support me.  He helped me finish hanging a rack for the barbecue tools and brooms when I hit my finger with a hammer, and didn’t even laugh at me.  He helps with getting all the bottles washed on a regular basis, he helps with laundry, he builds a really nice warm fire to get us through these  cold winter days.  In short, he is quietly supporting me all the time.  I would not have made it this far without him.

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Goals

On Friday, I wrote down a list before I left work of 12 things I wanted  to do over the weekend.  I left the list behind at work by mistake.  I only got three of the things done.  On the other hand, I cleaned out the fridge, which was not on the list.

I live by my goals.  Most of them are unwritten.  They are fluid and adjust according to conditions.  Waking up to snow Saturday morning changed the conditions, and what I got done changed accordingly.

Other goals are written, not always on a list, but they are recorded in conversations with family and friends, in emails, in personal documents.  These goals are more fixed.  They are what I work toward.  I break them up into units.  In order to meet the next step of the goal, I must complete certain things today or this week.

Both the unwritten and written goals are important.  Having the flexibility to let go of the minor goals is necessary.  I can’t get too caught up in not having completed 75% of my list.  Some of them I will pick up during the week, and others may be delayed longer.  The big goals I keep working toward, even when I miss steps along the way.

Committing to a goal, whether in writing or by communicating them to other people, makes the goal solid, real.  I have a record of what I was working toward even when conditions make it hard to remember the original purpose.  With the goal in mind, it is easier to make decisions on how to react to changing conditions.  A goal provides a sense of purpose when time would otherwise be spent aimlessly. It focuses my mind so that I can accomplish more with limited resources of supplies and time.

I live by my goals.  I set new goals every day for the minor things, the steps along the path to the large goals.  This weekend, I will have a new list of things to do.  Some of them may be the things that didn’t get done last weekend.  Others will be repeats that must be done again, and the rest will be new goals that I see as necessary steps to accomplishing the things that are important to me.

To me, goals are another implement in my toolbox that allow me to construct the life I want for my family.

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